Alright all you young mamas, I'm callin' for help. There's a few things I would love some advice on if any of you can relate (which I'm sure some of you can).
So.
The first thing is this. Jane (even as a newborn) has never gone less than sleeping 3 hours a night intervals. She improved more and more every week and we even got up to 8 hours a few nights. She's also always gone right down when I've set her in her crib and closed her door. No crying, sometimes a little fussy and I'd go in and stick her binky in and then that was it.
Well....that fantasy is over. Last week she had a bad night. She woke up 2 hours after I had put her down and quite a bit that same night. The next night, same thing but not quite as bad. The next night....could NOT get her to go to sleep. She was FREAKING out screaming. It's easy for me to say that I'm just going to let her cry it out but when it actually happens it's so hard! She was crying like she was dying to say the least. I put her down earlier because lately she's been kind of funny with her last feeding at night. She will just start crying right in the middle of eating, it's like she's so frusterated. I'm thinking, "Is she just tired?" So if I pump she takes the bottle beautifully and doesn't cry at all. So I've had to pump at night which I don't like because I don't want that to become a permanent habit. Last night she did it too but I would just stick her binkie in and it would calm her down and then I'd hurry and pull it out and she'd latch back on but I had to do that like 5 times. In the end we were successful but that doesn't always happen.
So has anyone had that happen with feeding? It's only the feeding right before bed.
Next. Does any one have any advice on sleeping through the night? I've been reading and trying to do Babywise for her schedule and it was working great but then we've had this total degress. The longest she will go now is 5 or 5.5 hours this past 4 days. So do I feed her? Let her cry? Just rock her? I'm not sure what to do so any advice would be awesome.
Also, at night now (about 7:00) she seems to get fussy. She doesn't scream and isn't unconsollible or anything but she's just way more high maintenance if you will. I have to rock her in her bouncy seat (usually she'll just chill out in it), or I have to walk her in the stroller, or just constantly be moving her or interacting with her. She's not terrible by any means but sometimes will just start to cry which is way unlike her. Is this just normal? I've heard people always talk about their baby having a "fussy time" and I think it's common at night but it's just new for us I guess. Should I try putting her down at this time? I tried that the other night and she cried for 2 hours so I bagged that idea. Do I just need to stick with it and eventually it will play itself out?
I know this is a ton of questions but any advice would be great. It's not the end of the world, I feel so blessed she's as good as she is. She's a total rockstar throughout the day, the most low maintenance gal ever but night time has all of a sudden become a little struggle. I'm just bummed I guess that we've degressed on her sleeping time. The last 2 nights she's gone right down but hasn't slept more than 4 or 5 hours and then only 3 and then 3 after that. The Dr. said at 2 months she's going through a growth spurt and will want to be eating more. Is this just a phase then? I know I should count my blessings cause there's babies out there that wake up every hour. But any help would be great!
Oh shoot! One more thing! Sorry if you're so sick of this. Nap times. When do I start putting her down for naps during the day? She always conks out in her car seat and her stroller so she's getting naps there but I'm not very good at putting her down in her crib for a nap at a set time during the day. When do I start this? Do I force it? Does it just come naturally? I want her to have naptimes (mostly for my sake).
Okay that's it (for now at least). Any advice or tips is greatly appreciated. I have so much to learn. Thanks everyone!
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9 comments:
Sounds like the honeymoon stage is over. I would recommend listening to suggestions and listening to your intuition on what will be best for Jane. First, I think you should pick up a copy of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I found it to be very helpful on educating me on different approaches to soothing a child to sleep as well as on what is an appropriate age to start a structured nap schedule. As far as Jane's sleeping habits, she sounds pretty normal right now. My pediatrician recommended sleeping Grant within two hours of waking up for the day and then within two hours of waking up from any nap. Second, when Grant came home from the hospital we started a regulated bedtime routine. This has come in handy now because we know it will take an hour from start to finish for bedtime and Grant doesn't have a real problem going to sleep at night. I would be more than happy to share in detail some of the different things I have tried/am trying through email. Just let me know... kristyhewitt06@gmail.com
Teddy you're so great - I'm so glad you just went with your gut to write this stuff out. As much as you try and discuss these things with your husband - at least I felt like this. It's like they don't seem to sense the GRAVITY of the situation.
My sister in law had a very similar situation as you with her daughter. It was like since her daughter had to be in the NICU for a little while she automatically got on such a great schedule and then after two months that schedule just went out the window and honey moon phase was over. It's been 2,3 months and things still aren't regular.
I read Baby Wise, Healthy Sleep Habits/Happy Child cover to cover TWICE! I felt like such a hostage with our sleeping situation. I honestly could count on one hand the number of nights Finn slept on one hand through the night up until he was like 8 or 9 months. The one thing I know for sure was that I was making myself a hostage by trying to put Finn on this regimented schedule. My parents always say Finn should be on your schedule not the other way around. I think your routine of going for walks, running errands is great. It's sanity for you and Jane will sleep when she needs to sleep. There are so many rules like never let them sleep in their car seat, etc. etc. I tried what like for me was a boot camp regiment at six months (crying it out) with Finn and a challenging situation became an all mind consuming hard situation. The hard thing with crying it out is that if you ever give in... ever - even if it's months down the line you have to start over. We do a routine of bath, reading a book, and then Ryan just lays him down and the bath has transformed our experience because he knows - time to sleep. Every once and while he'll object and we'll let him cry for a few minutes and then go check on him - rock him and he'll be out. (Sorry for the long comment- I was just there in your same spot like yesterday so it's so vivid. And unfortunately i'm going to be there again in less than 8 weeks. Oh the sleepless nights, here we go)
*What I wish I would've known where you were at - It's okay if they don't sleep perfect, if they aren't on a perfect schedule - no worries. It will get better, and you're not a bad mom for not doing it like all the books say.
Isn't it crazy how you think things are going alright and the babe throws a curve ball! I was clicking on this to recommend the same book Kristy did though. It really helped me understand what Owen needs. He still isn't a great sleeper but MUCH better. It helped me determine when it was okay to let him cry and when it wasn't. Jane is still so young though and she may need a feeding at night now because she's going through a growth spurt, where before she was able to sleep. Anyway, try that book. Take what you like from it and try it out.
With the fussiness in the evening...that's so common. Owen used to go to bed at 9 but I finally got him to go to bed at 7 with just a few nights trying and he is a much happier guy. Once I established nap times (with some flexibility) his bedtime moved up which helped him sleep longer at night. Crazy how that happens!
Oh...GOOD LUCK! It's such a tricky thing to figure it out sometimes!
I feel your pain. We struggled for months with Hailey's sleeping habits and it too got worse at about 2 months. It was a 2-3 hour process to get her down at night. I also liked Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child. Some things that really helped Hailey was having a bed time routine and an early bedtime (7-7:30 pm). Our pediatrician had us feed her a bottle of formula before bed because it kept her full longer and she slept better. I was hesitant to do that at first but she seemed to be really frustrated nursing, like she wasn't getting enough.
At this point I think Jane may be too young for crying it out. Most research I read says not to do it til they are 5-6 months but it may depend on the baby. I had a hard time with the crying it out and would always cave. You really have to commit to it. It got to the point where I had to put her down and go to the gym and Dave would call me when she stopped so I could come home :)
As far as naps I have learned there is a window of opportunity to get them to nap. If you wait to long to put them down they get overtired and fight it. ( The book has a timeline for each age) I promise it gets better! At about 8 months Hailey started going down without a fuss and sleeping for 12 hours and she has done so every night since. Hang in there.
So first off, know that this is all normal, everyone goes through it and you're doing great! Second, neither one of my boys was on a really set schedule until 5 or 6 months although I did try to enforce one. I'll just tell you what worked for my boys and you can give it a try and if it doesn't work, no harm done :-) With both boys I tried to stick to this schedule...eat, playtime, diaper change, fall asleep on own, repeat. I really stressed the playtime after eating so that they would stay awake while they ate or came to shortly after so that they would then learn to put themselves to sleep after playing. I didn't want them dependent on me nursing them to fall asleep. I tried to stick to this schedule as much as possible. My boys would usually sleep in between every feeding at some point and I wouldn't ever worry about putting them in a bed when they are that young. I did more with Carter just so he didn't get disturbed by Coop.
Also, I usually did not put my babies to sleep for the night until Caleb and I went to bed just because I felt like they slept their longest stretch from 12-5 when I was sleeping and not while I was awake from 8-1. I didn't want to lay down at 12 and wake up only an hour later to feed him. I'd usually try to time that last feeding to be right around 11 or 12 so that I could go to bed and make the most of that sleep right after he was done. Gradually I would start putting them down earlier once they started sleeping longer consistently. I swear, by doing it this way my boys slept in till 8 or 9, and still do. We are definite night owls as opposed to morning people so this works better for us.
And as for the digression, it happens! My guess would be a growth spurt for sure. I couldn't ever do the cry it out thing at this early of an age. I did have to do it at an older age of like, 8 months (which killed me) but I still to this day don't know why at 8 months Coop decided to wake up every night exactly 2 hours after putting him down. He would NOT go back to sleep for anything. Then one night, after a couple weeks, he just stopped. I didn't do a thing different and it just stopped. So that just tells you that sometimes, you just have to ride it out :-)
Good luck with everything~! Anymore concerns/questions, I'd be happy to lend an ear and tell you what worked for me. If anything its just nice to talk it out and realize that other moms are going through or have gone through the exact same thing. cassipope@byu.net or call Seriously, anytime you need to chat!
i love Healthy sleep habits Happy child by Marc Weissenbluth also!!
I tried to follow babywise with hugh, but it stressed me out too much. Healthy sleep habits give you options and educates you as well.
I usually wait until 4-6 months to let them "cry it out" just because i feel the little ones are so little to cry that much. :(
I am all about the binkie and swaddling. I also sing the same song every night and at naps. (i think a routine helps signal that it is time for bed)
When the baby is little (2 months) I follow the nap by 2 hour after the baby wakes up rule. Often it is only after an hour that they started getting a LITTLE fussy or staring off or not as smiley and are ASKING to be put to bed for a nap. (that is if i am not out to the zoo or running errands. IF i am...and they fall asleep in the car. I usually try to transfer them very delicately in to the bed with a binkie and a swaddle so they can have a good nap in the crib.
Maybe the bedtime nursing...she is just so tired? If she is crying....maybe she is not hungry? Did she nap before the bedtime feed?
who knew it was so tricky to get a little peanut to sleep. I sure didn't! But if you will hang in there and read these books....you will get your sleep back. IT might not be until 4-6 months, but you will get it back.
ps
hugh had to cry 45 min at 5 months
tomi had to cry 1 hour at 6 months
but it always decreases the next day and eventually no crying. It is sooo hard, but honestly so worth getting your sleep back :)
good luck teddy! love ya!
oh man, what fun comments to read! Yeah I'm gonna have to say just go with your gut. It's so funny cause with our first we weren't ready to change our OWN schedules so Ben was just on our...slept on the fly on the way to the store or at the movies or the concerts. Now with the 3rd there's so much going on she sleeps on the way to soccer games or the park...we are not much good at scheduling. I have friends who swear by the schedule but it doesn't work for us. We actually just hit a rough patch with our Jane too...same kind of stuff. When she wakes up in teh middle of the night now I don't feed her, just give her the binkie and she usually goes back down. Ithink the most important thing to know is..."this too shall pass". Kids just go throuhg so many phases and they seem like such a big deal while you're in the middle of it but next thing you know it will just work out. Hopefully :) Good luck Teddy.
To slightly mimic what's been said, yeah, I have the same book...I just put it away actually (Healthy...) and it is great, but one thing is constant, and that is change. Babies can have growth spurts, or get sick, or start teething, and all that sleep training goes out the window. Babies crave routine. Try picking nap times when you've noticed she gets tired, usually mid morning, mid afternoon, and sometimes right around dinner time, and do the same thing each day, I always read a book, then rocked and nursed to sleep...but around 3 months I started putting them in their beds kinda awake, and they would chill or cry for a bit, and then fall asleep. I say get Jane to sleep if you can, and then as she gets used to the schedule, try the sleep training.
As for the sleeping through the night...good luck. It can vary so much!
Josh was fussy at night, and it turned out he was lactose intolerant...just sayin...might wanna check into things in your diet that might be affecting your little Jane, chances are, it's nothing, but it just might help...
I agree with everyone on "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". What I like most about the book is that it doesn't tell you exactly what to do. Every baby and mom are different. But the book gives you a scientific background.
But also, pray. :) I pray about mom stuff all of the time. It helps.
p.s. She sounds like an amazing baby to me. None of mine have ever slept that well from the beginning. What a blessing!
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