Thursday, August 28, 2008
Some sap, sorry
Well warning, I don't want to make this a sappy post but it kind of is. I've sure had a good slap in the face these past few days. I know it's only Thursday but just within these last few days, life has really taken a new turn. I knew that Scott's 1st year here at the medical school was going to be busy and stressful, but nothing like what it has turned out to be. Man, that kid has put in 16 hour days every day so far and the only reason he comes home at night is because he has to eat and sleep. It is insane. So then there's me, I've been a total sissy pants throughout it all (throughout the whole whoppin 4 days). I'm like, "Holy cow, I am never gonna see my husband." Alright Teddy, get OVER it. Why are YOU complaining? You're not the one studying from the crack of dawn till you're falling asleep in your books late at night. Yesterday during Scott's lunch I picked him up and we went and played his league round at the U golf course. After the hour was over, I had to drop him back off at school and he said to pick him up at 10:00. So there I was, I lost it. Totally started balling in the car and poor Scott was just going, "Are you serious? Do I really have do deal with this right now?" Talk about the last thing he needs. So anyway I left b/c I was becoming more and more of an idiot. My institute class started in 10 minutes. I wasn't going to go, I had puffy eyes and looked like crap. I kept thinking, "I'm too frusterated and mad to feel the spirit anyway." So I sat in our parking lot for 15 minutes and then got my butt in gear and drove to class. THANK GOODNESS I did. I know you hear this all the time, but it was like a brick just smacked me in the face and was like, "Grow up Teddy and count your blessings!" Here we've been praying like crazy that Scott would get into dental school and he does and then here I am just complaining, crying. I am so embarassed. I was choked up the whole class, it was so good to be there. I have changed my attitude. I know I still have some rough nights ahead. But geez, I am SO lucky to have a husband who is willing to work so hard. He's doing this for our family. I am lucky to have this opportunity to grow on my own, and I know it will make me a better person. There are little things that will be great like nights alone to read, write in my journal, learn new hobbies, things I don't tend to do when Scott's around. Also, I can spend some extra time with girlfriends which will be great before we leave in May. It's gonna be okay! I'm sure (well I know) that some of you who are reading this have gone through or are going through this same thing and you're probably just completely rolling your eyes at me. I don't blame ya. But I hope you can somewhat relate. Any advice of what you guys did? Was it a tough adjustment for you? So from today on I'm moving forward with a happy attitude and am going to try and remember to count my blessings. I am a lucky gal.
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11 comments:
Teddy you are the sweetest thing. I love how genuine you are. I have actually gone through a very, very similar thing. Ryan's been studying for the LSAT for this past year... I just want to be supportive, but sometimes it can be hard. He's been at work from 8-5. I've been on campus all day long, I just want to eat dinner and relax for the evening, and then he has to leave again until 11:30 and study. I know Dental school is on a completely different level... never ending it seems like. However for me when I was really honest with myself, I discovered that I was being a little bit needy. What helped me most was doing nice things for Ryan, and then he would do little nice things for me. It made feel like I still had that real closeness, even though we didn't spend even remotely as much time together. This might be getting a little too personal, but every night we have this little ritual we do, we call it "Our I love you's" We tell each other two reasons why we love each other... usually they are based on the day. We've been doing it for the past 10 months we've been married and I love it. It's just great, no matter how hard the day was, whether we spent a lot of time together or no time, it just always makes the day that much better.
Love you Ted.
keep your chin up Teddy, those first 2 years are brutal!! I feel bad reading your post because I think I've gotten TOO independant since my husband's been gone so much...now that he comes home early every night to stay I'm kind of like, well, what do I do with you? No, I LOVE having him around, but you get used to the alone time and it fills up fast. Babies, church callings, always lots of good books to read and the time just FLIES by. And really, that first year is the WORST...it's going to get a whole lot better and then, like you said, one day you wake up and you're married to a dentist and dreaming about those carefree school days! Good luck girl.
okay, to be honest, you just freaked the crap out of me. lol! i love you teddy! good luck with everything and i'll keep you in my prayers. i wish i could give you advice, but i'm way behind you. i just have to say though, you're a better person than i am. you're such an awesome example.
Oh Teddy! I would have broken down too! It's good that you are realizing though and that alone makes things 10 times better. Just find some hobbies and good books and enjoy this wonderful time alone. Now that I have Cooper and am pregnant with our second, all my hobbies get put on hold until Coop goes to bed but then Caleb is home so I still don't do them because I spend time with him. There are days where I wish I could have just 1 day to myself to do what I want to do so in some ways I am jealous of you but I'm not saying that makes it any easier for you! It's going to be rough but find those fun things to do, take some extra fun classes (I did cake decorating, super fun!) and take advantage of all this extra time you have all to yourself. You'll really appreciate it when you have a couple kids ;-) Hang in there! It'll be over before you know it!
Oh Teddy, I fell your pain. It gets better, I promise. Trent isn't in Medical school but we see him about a much as if he were. It's always important to remember that 1) he's doing it to support you and your family and 2) this too shall pass. If you are ever lonely when he's gone, give me a call and we can have a girls night or something. You are a strong woman and I know that you'll make it through this! Oh, and there's no shame in crying about it. Just shows that you really love and miss your sweetie :)
you don't know me. I clicked on your blog from someone else's. I read your post and it reminds me of me when my husband was busy in school. He's been graduated for five years and we have a regular schedule and children now. Just the other day I was thinking of our own crazy school days. Your plan to embrace the time to better yourself and spend time with friends is perfect. Looking back thats what I wish I had done. Good luck! You'll make it through! And someday before you know ityou will be looking back on it all.
I know exactly what you mean! This week I have barely seen Dave. I just have to remind myself how proud of him I am and make every second we are together count. I know it's hard on them spending so much time away from us too. If you ever need a friend to go do something with call me. We can go have fun while our men study :)
Oh Tedds you are the cutest thing. I went through the exact same thing. I cried for days because I thought my life was over because I would never see TJ. I finally decided, like you did, it would all be okay. Once I made that decision and STUCK TO IT. Things were fine. It takes a while sweetie to get in the swing of things. I made new friends in my ward, I worked out, and I found new hobbies. I now love to sew and I craft like crazy. Something important we did, that really helped us is we sat down every Sunday together and scheduled one evening/afternoon or even hour in that upcoming week to spend together. Of course it revolved around his schedule, but it gave me something to look forward to and made me so grateful for those times we had found. You'll get through it. Look at me, I thought I would die and we are in our last year. Now I have no idea how to function when he is around all the time. I'm like, "Dude, give me my space!" It will work though hun. You will have break downs but when you do, just remember to break down to your knees and pray to Heavenly Father. Then get up and keep going. Call me if you ever need anything. I am ALWAYS here for you!! LOVE YOU!
I know exactly what you mean and I would have bawled too! One time Dave had to be in China for three weeks and by the end I was a basket case. My sister-in-law called to check on me and the kids and I just couldn't hold back the tears. And that was a one-time thing. I can't imagine the feeling of coming to the realization that this is a long-term thing and that your husband is really going to be so darn busy you barely get to see him. I feel for you! You are the sweetest girl ever and I'm sure you'll have the strength to do what it takes to make it through, and totally support him in the process. It'll make for some great memories some day. You'll look back and wonder how you did it all!
Good luck and I'll be thinking of you!
Teddy you are so funny and lucky that you had something to slap you in the face. We have all been there and it isn't fun so call me sometime I know exactly how you feel. There are a lot and I mean a lot of lonely days and nights but just keep telling yourself it's worth it in the end. These poor boys work their butts off I can't believe it. Good for you Scott for such an accomplishment and good for you Teddy for supporting him. I wouldn't think you were normal if you hadn't had a breakdown like the rest of us. Scott should be flattered, after all you were crying that you never see him - hehe! Anyway I loved this post and we are praying for you guys. Just so you know....it does get better!
Teddy, I know EEEEEXAAAACTLY how you feel. I was such a wreck during Ryan's first week of med school - and I don't have any family around so I was extra upset. But it does honestly get better. You will find that you'll have tons of time to help make a meal for someone - or visit with someone who needs it - or develop new skills and talents. Those are a few of the things I'm working on in my spare time. Plus, remember to make the moments that Scott IS around just that much sweeter. Don't waste it on complaining or being grumpy, etc. I'm still learning that. Hang in there!
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